Retired Man’s Health Strains Marriage, Leaving Wife Isolated

A letter to the advice column “Dear Abby” highlights the emotional struggles faced by a working woman whose retired husband suffers from severe health issues. The woman, who is 61 years old, describes how her husband, aged 65, has debilitating back problems that significantly limit his mobility and overall quality of life.

This situation has led to feelings of isolation for her, as she finds herself unable to engage in activities outside of her full-time job. After returning home from work, she often prepares dinner and cleans up, only to find her husband asleep in the living room. The couple’s shared television becomes a source of frustration for her, as she is left to watch reruns of old shows from the 1950s and 1960s.

The woman expresses deep feelings of loneliness, stating, “I am the loneliest married woman I know.” She acknowledges her husband’s good nature but notes his increasing frustration, which complicates their interactions. The emotional toll of their situation has led her to question whether she should stay in the marriage or consider a separation.

In her response, Abigail Van Buren, the voice behind “Dear Abby,” offered a practical suggestion. She advised the woman to purchase a television set for herself and place it in a separate room, allowing her to enjoy her own programming. Van Buren emphasized that while this might alleviate some of the isolation, the underlying issues concerning her husband’s growing frustration should be addressed with a medical professional.

Van Buren’s perspective is rooted in decades of experience providing guidance through her column, which was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers often turn to “Dear Abby” for insights that blend empathy with practical advice.

The scenario presented by this letter is not uncommon, as many couples face challenges when one partner encounters serious health problems. The emotional strain can affect both individuals, leading to feelings of loneliness and frustration. Seeking solutions, whether through communication or professional help, is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship in difficult times.