Navigating Gift Etiquette: How to Handle Unwanted Perfume Knockoffs

In a recent inquiry to etiquette expert Miss Manners, a reader faced a dilemma over receiving two knockoff bottles of her signature perfume for her birthday. The gifts, purchased online by friends who are financially comfortable, raised concerns about authenticity and the proper way to address the issue without hurting feelings.

Addressing the Knockoff Dilemma

The reader expressed discomfort about notifying her friends that they had unknowingly gifted her counterfeit versions of a high-end fragrance. Despite the generosity of both friends, she recognized the genuine article and felt compelled to consider their feelings. Miss Manners advised that bringing up the counterfeits might lead to unnecessary embarrassment for the givers. Instead, she suggested that the recipient could mention the prevalence of knockoffs in general conversations in the future, allowing her friends to realize the mistake without direct confrontation.

“Having already given you this present once, it is unlikely that either person will repeat the mistake,” Miss Manners noted. By avoiding the topic, the recipient can spare her friends from potential guilt and paranoia regarding future purchases.

Family Dynamics and Birthday Expectations

Another reader, reflecting on family relationships, shared their disappointment regarding a lackluster birthday greeting from an older brother. At the age of 50, after receiving a thoughtful dinner and gift from his closest brother, the reader felt slighted by a simple text message from the elder sibling, who also failed to deliver on a promised gift.

Miss Manners suggested that the individual should let go of the situation rather than pressuring the brother for a gift. “Nagging him is making both the present and the prospect of a better relationship more distant,” she explained. Instead, Miss Manners humorously recommended that the reader consider gifting something nice to the older brother on his next birthday, to perhaps make a point.

Holiday Bonuses for Household Help

In another query, a reader sought advice on holiday bonuses for a housekeeper and her assistant. The reader expressed appreciation for the thorough work of the primary cleaner and wondered about the etiquette of rewarding both individuals. Miss Manners recommended giving a significant bonus to the main housekeeper while informing her that it is intended for both her and her assistant. This approach allows the housekeeper to decide how to manage the split, maintaining a harmonious working relationship.

For readers navigating similar situations, Miss Manners provides a thoughtful lens through which to assess the complexities of gift-giving and interpersonal relationships. Whether addressing the authenticity of a gift, managing family expectations, or considering fair compensation for services rendered, her insights encourage open communication and a focus on kindness.

Questions for Miss Manners can be directed to her website, www.missmanners.com, or through email at [email protected].