Author Lihi Lapid Reflects on Motherhood and Women’s Strength

Lihi Lapid, an acclaimed Israeli author, has released a new book titled “I Wanted to Be Wonderful,” which delves into the complexities of motherhood and the emotional journey of raising a child with disabilities. The book has sparked important discussions around parenting and the representation of individuals with special needs, particularly in Israel, where such topics are often shrouded in silence.

After spending over a decade writing a column focused on women’s issues, Lapid felt compelled to explore the transition from a couple to a family. Her journey into motherhood was not just about sharing experiences; it was about navigating the balance between personal privacy and the authenticity of her narrative. Seeking guidance from her mother-in-law, the esteemed writer Shulamit Lapid, she confronted the challenge of revealing her truth while protecting the feelings of her family.

She remembered Shulamit’s advice: “You write the whole truth. And then you delete a little.” Despite her attempts to omit potentially painful details, Lapid encountered a poignant moment in her manuscript that she could not erase. This internal conflict delayed the book’s publication for a year and a half as she grappled with the implications of her story being shared publicly.

The turning point came when Lapid and her husband awaited an assessment for their daughter, Yaeli. Initially concerned that Yaeli might be deaf, they were devastated to learn she was autistic, a revelation that profoundly altered their lives. Today, at 29 years old, Yaeli remains nonverbal and is at the more challenging end of the autism spectrum.

Upon its release in Israel, Lapid’s book ignited a much-needed conversation regarding the experiences of parents raising children with significant disabilities. This dialogue was not just limited to Israel; when the book was published in the United States, it quickly gained recognition, landing on the USA Today bestseller list within two weeks. The universal themes of her story resonated with many, emphasizing the necessity for open discussions surrounding special needs.

As the president of SHEKEL, an organization dedicated to integrating people with disabilities into the community, Lapid has emerged as a powerful advocate for change. She highlights that vulnerability often strengthens rather than weakens individuals, revealing that the essence of female identity is rooted in both resilience and empathy.

Reflecting on the significance of International Women’s Day, which falls on March 8, Lapid emphasizes that being a woman encompasses both achievements and the unseen labor that sustains families. It involves remembering the small details—who needs help with homework, who requires emotional support—while also recognizing the importance of self-care.

She articulates that being a woman often means navigating societal expectations, balancing personal desires with the needs of others. In doing so, women may sometimes feel they have to sacrifice their own aspirations. Yet, Lapid asserts that when women feel valued and cared for, they can better support their families, ultimately benefiting everyone around them.

In light of the recent turmoil in Israel, Lapid acknowledged the importance of cherishing simple moments of joy amidst adversity. “Happiness is not constant. It is a collection of moments to gather in the album of our hearts,” she noted, underscoring the necessity of pausing to appreciate life’s fleeting joys.

Lapid’s message for this International Women’s Day is clear: take a moment for self-reflection. Recognize the strength and softness that coexist within each individual. By honoring their own experiences, women can cultivate a deeper connection with themselves and those around them.

In a world that often prioritizes achievement over emotional wellness, Lihi Lapid invites women to celebrate their narratives. By embracing their truths and protecting their moments of joy, they can foster a supportive environment that nurtures both personal and communal growth.