Spiritual Journey Explores Death and Faith in New Autobiography

In his new spiritual autobiography, Ricky Hayes confronts the complexities of faith and mortality, particularly against the backdrop of the tumultuous events of 2025. The book, titled “Why Am I Still A Christian?”, offers an introspective look at how grief and existential questions have shaped his understanding of life and death.

Hayes, who grew up in Chico, reflects on a world where violence and loss are pervasive. He writes, “The headlines have been littered with assassinations and murders. I didn’t know the victims, but I know they didn’t deserve it.” He articulates a profound sense of injustice surrounding death, noting, “That’s the sickening part about Death: it doesn’t discriminate, it doesn’t ask, it doesn’t care. All it does is take.”

The narrative unfolds as a spiritual odyssey that Hayes describes as “messy” and “raw.” He grapples with various challenges, including grief, doubt, and the pressures of legalism within religious communities. Despite these struggles, Hayes recounts moments where he felt the presence of Jesus—a figure he portrays as compassionate and persistent, rather than judgmental or performance-driven. He emphasizes that this is not the Jesus of “fire insurance, shame, and performance,” but one who remains steadfast, even in moments of anger and despair.

Faith Amid Chaos

In the latter half of the book, Hayes delves into specific theological concerns, offering a critical perspective on the modern American church. He argues that many congregations perpetuate the belief that “salvation depends on our performance instead of Christ’s finished work.” This critique resonates with readers who have experienced similar frustrations within institutional religion.

Hayes asserts that his encounters with fellow Christians—both Fundamentalist and Charismatic—often taught him “how not to be a Christian.” He advocates for a faith that promotes love and reconciliation rather than engaging in cultural warfare. “We’re supposed to influence people to be reconciled to God by loving one another, not by fighting a cultural war,” he writes.

The book posits a message of hope and redemption. Hayes summarizes his insights by stating, “The cross is about God revealing the greatest love one can give through the light of the world, Jesus Christ.” He expresses a belief that, despite the darkness that may obscure spiritual truths, divine light can shine through for those who seek it.

Hayes’ work, priced at $13.99 in paperback and available through Publishers Brew and Amazon Kindle, invites readers to reflect on their own journeys of faith amid the challenges of modern life. His story resonates with anyone grappling with the complexities of belief, loss, and the quest for meaning in a chaotic world.

For those interested in exploring these themes further, the book serves as a compelling guide through the intricacies of faith and the human experience.