Navigating Love and Endometriosis: Conversations That Matter

Dating with endometriosis presents unique challenges, requiring open discussions about health and intimacy. Sophie Richards, a 29-year-old women’s health advocate, shared her experience of navigating these conversations early in her relationship with Wales rugby player Dillon Lewis. During their third date, the couple visited a fertility clinic, already discussing topics many would consider uncomfortable, such as egg freezing and the impact of chronic illness on intimacy.

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the womb, leading to symptoms like severe period pain, fatigue, and infertility. Richards, who started freezing her eggs due to potential fertility issues related to her condition, emphasizes the importance of transparency in relationships. “It can be very challenging, especially with endometriosis or infertility issues like I’ve struggled with,” she stated.

For Richards, addressing her condition early in the relationship was crucial, despite the discomfort it initially caused. “I was having to explain… about injections and surgeries, and all of that, very unsexy topics to be talking about,” she recalled. Her willingness to be open about her health struggles has helped foster understanding and support from her partner.

Dillon Lewis, 29, who has represented Wales 57 times, highlighted the significance of communication. He noted, “Just try to help in whichever way… and get a hot water bottle every now and again.” His approach reflects a commitment to understanding the challenges that come with endometriosis, which can significantly impact intimacy and relationship dynamics.

Another individual navigating similar challenges is Natalie Jones, a 35-year-old PhD student diagnosed with endometriosis in 2018. After a period of ill health, she recently began dating again, but often grapples with the fear that her fatigue may be perceived as unreliability. “If you’re just exhausted sometimes and you have to cancel plans… it might sound like you’re just putting somebody off,” she explained.

Jones also expressed the complexities of discussing intimacy in the early stages of dating. “You don’t want to set that expectation that intimacy is going to happen by having that discussion too early on,” she said. For her, maintaining authenticity while managing her health is essential, stating, “If I’m dating or speaking with somebody who isn’t prepared to either learn or understand… then that’s probably not the right person anyway.”

Health professionals are increasingly recognizing the importance of addressing endometriosis and its effects on relationships. Pelvic health physiotherapist Pauline-Clare Callaghan noted that while conversations around menstrual health have improved, there is still a significant gap in addressing sexual pain associated with endometriosis. “There are effective conservative treatments including pelvic physiotherapy, but there is a care gap,” she remarked.

Callaghan emphasized the need for societal conversations to continue surrounding endometriosis and sexual health. “Sex can be a challenging topic to discuss with partners, especially if you’re new in a relationship,” she stated, underlining the importance of breaking down stigma.

Both Richards and Jones advocate for greater awareness and open dialogue regarding endometriosis, especially concerning its impact on intimacy. “I genuinely don’t think I could be with someone who didn’t want to understand the endometriosis,” Richards said, highlighting the necessity of support in managing a chronic condition.

As more individuals like Richards and Jones share their stories, the hope is that conversations around endometriosis will become less stigmatized, allowing others to navigate their relationships with greater confidence and understanding.